One year, 12 months, 366 days?????

Has it really been an entire year since I gave birth to the most precious little boy?! These 12 months have gone by in a blink of an eye and I can't help but wonder "did I take enough pictures", "did I read enough books", "am I feeding him the right foods", "am I being the best mom that I can be"?? The first year is really crazy and a lot of questionable things come up. You can only hope that you've done enough research or are listening to the right people but in the end, it's our decisions as parents and hope we make the right choices. He's obviously still alive and thriving so we must be doing something right! (que the pat on the back)

There has been so much emotion coming from inside me these past few weeks. I can't help but be amazed by the fact that Dylan has only been in our lives for a year but it seems like a lifetime. He brings so many smiles and giggles to our lives. It's amazing how therapeutic it is to just see my son at the end of the day. He's mine. He's not anyone else's. I get to go home and play with him, bathe him, cuddle with him (ha, yeah right, he hates cuddling with me!). He is my everything (sorry Jason)!!!

He is walking everywhere. By everywhere, I mean, there is no more crawling. The week after Easter (April 8) he just decided he didn't want to crawl so he just started walking. He 'a been like that ever since. He's got 4 top teeth and still just the 2 bottom ones. He eats anything and everything you put in front of him. We're trying to wean him from breastmilk and to drink whole milk. He actually hates it. I think it's because it's cold and he's used to having warm BM. I've only got about 10 bottles worth of BM left he better start liking the milk soon! There are obviously other ways he can get his calcium so I'm not too worried though. He says "ball", "dog", "cat", "dada", "mama", "nigh night". It's soo cool to watch him interact and say words because that means he's learning :)

He's one special guy and I am so proud and honored that I am his mother and that Jason is his father. He brings an unexplainable calmness over me. I am so excited for what the next few years are going to bring.

Dylan, thank you for being such a special little guy. Know that whatever mommy and daddy do in life, it's for and because of you. You are our life, our world, and we wouldn't have it any other way. We look forward to the many years that are ahead of us. Please don't ever change. We love you!!!

Happy birthday, Dylan!!!!

A year...one whole year

I know I'm jumping the gun by 13 days but I'm pretty sure I will make it to the finish line. That finish line is one year of breastfeeding. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think I would breastfeed for an entire year. It started a little rocky with my milk not coming in right away and Dylan losing more than 10% of his body weight while in the hospital. I think we might have given him a total of 4-6 ounces of formula between being at the hospital and the first few days at home. Once my milk came in, there was no more supplementing. I will say that there is no book, class or mother that can help you prepare for actual nursing. They can guide you in what to do but until you put an actual baby to your breast, you really have no idea what to expect. Those first few weeks were very trying. There were quite a few tears and toe curling cries. I can't even being to explain the kind of pain I endured to provide my little guy with the best. Once we got past those first 6 weeks it was smooth sailing. We were in a routine. I always had enough milk for him. Once he started sleeping through the night at 6 weeks, I continued to wake up and pump in the middle of the night to start building my freezer stash. I am so happy that I did because without that stash, there is no way I'd make it to a year! My period didn't come back until Dylan was 10 months old. My supply tanked! I went from pumping 15-17 ounces at work to pumping 10-12 ounces at work. I am now barely pumping 5 ounces while I work. Dylan is only taking two 5 ounce bottles while at daycare so he gets one bottle of freshly pumped milk and one frozen milk. It just amazes me that I have supplied him with the nutrients that he's needed for the past year!! I feel very fortunate that it has been easy for me to provide him enough milk each day. I knew I wanted to make it to a year and if we make it longer, then I'm okay with that. I'm thinking we probably won't go past year because I'm pretty sure Dylan is self weaning. He's refused to nurse the past few mornings and refused the past two night nursing sessions. I can still pump, so I'm okay with it but I always thought that we'd make it to a year and then I'd continue to nurse him in the morning and night until 18 months, maybe two years. I was going to let him be the judge but I guess he's deciding now. I have built an incredible bond with my child and am so thankful for the support and encouragement Jason has given me. Thank you Jason. I would not have made it without you!!

This has been an incredibly fast year and I will have many memories to carry on in years to come!!

I will say that I will NOT miss my damn pump and cannot wait until the day I can go to work with a PURSE and not some nasty black "bag" that I'm sure every single person knows is a boob milker!

Until the next child, I can enjoy having my body back. I can enjoy a glass of wine, eating onions and broccoli. We can go places and not have to worry about me having to nurse Dylan somewhere or make sure we have a bottle and enough milk if we leave him with someone.

BUT I would not have changed one single moment!!!